Lone Star: You are ugly when you're angry.
President Scroob: Why didn't somebody tell me my ass was so big?!
Dark Helmet: Come back, you fat bearded bitch!
Dot Matrix: Hey! Stop looking up my can.
Dark Helmet: What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz? Chicken?!
Dark Helmet: Now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.
Dark Helmet: How many assholes do we have on this ship anyhow?
Dark Helmet: I knew it! I'm surrounded by assholes! (Pulls down facemask)
Keep firing assholes!
Yogurt: Who dares enter the sacred and awesome presence of the everlasting know-it-all?!
Lone Star: At last! We meet for the first time for the last time.
Barf: I'm a mog; half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend.
Dark Helmet: You have the ring. And I see your schwartz is as big as mine.
Yogurt: Never underestimate the power of the schwartz!
Dark Helmet: Found anything yet?
Space Troopert: We aint found shit!
President Scroob, Dark Helmet & Colonel Sandurz: Suck! Suck! Suck!
Colonel Sandurz: She's gone from suck to blow.
Yogurt: And may the schwartz be with you!
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